Coming Attractions

DIRTY LANCING

Huzzah

An average man, who in his prime was  the star jousting knight at the local Renaissance Fair, dons his armor once again in a scheme to turn  the fairground into a condominium development.

In Dirty Lancing, Ben, an average family man, is forced by his job as a real estate developer to infiltrate the same Renaissance Fair where he used to be the star jousting knight in order to get them to sell.  Ben never told his wife about his former life as the star jousting knight in the bizarre and amply-cleavaged world of the Renaissance fair.  But now ten years later, working as a real estate developer for his demanding father-in-law, Ben must infiltrate the same fair in a ploy to get the owner, a senile woman who believes she is Queen Elizabeth, to sell so they can build a new condo development.  But, the fair already has a formidable enemy in Sir Cuthbert Codswallow, Ben’s old jousting nemesis who has opened a rival Medieval dinner theater and has nearly driven the fair into bankruptcy.  Seduced again by the smell of turkey legs and the feel of a breastplate, Ben finds it harder than he thought to betray his old fair friends.  When they appeal to him as their only hope of defeating Cuthbert, Ben must choose between impressing his father-in-law and reclaiming his lost honor that Cuthbert had stolen in the jousting arena a decade before.  Through hard work,  a helicopter, a heart-throb newscaster and an endangered bird, Ben defeats Cuthbert and secures the future of the fair.  And when his father-in-law and Queen Elizabeth are seized by instant animal attraction, his family’s happiness is secured as well. [back to top]

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